I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
