My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
should my penis look like a turkey
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
