just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
