What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
