Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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