Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
