We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
