Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
