We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
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My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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