im drinking this country out of the recession.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
