watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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