I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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