Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it was like eating out sand paper
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The dick lei will go down in squad history
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
