please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
