all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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