Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
