alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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