Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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