Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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