This is not my ceiling
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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