Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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