just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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