i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
vagina is talking i cant
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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