god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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