In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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