I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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