i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize