dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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