New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Found your dick twin last night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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