Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
