I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Send help, water and tortillas.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?