I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
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she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
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I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.