How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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