If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
