i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
