bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
