everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize