For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
