Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
