I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
