I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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