Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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