Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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