Ambien. No doubt about it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
