You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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