Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
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I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
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I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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