I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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