Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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