Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
