i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
