butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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