Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
