Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
