Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
