dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
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I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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