worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
