I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
