You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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