I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
