Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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