Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
