check it out our google latitudes are spooning
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
